Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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