he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
