Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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