he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
