Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
be right there i have to get my cape
Randomize