Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
