the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
