She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
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The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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