we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
