On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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