Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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