Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
