Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
