She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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