you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
