Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
