Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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