im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize