we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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