Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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