sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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