We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
