I have demons in me.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
