would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize