my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
