I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
