Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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