Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
