Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
They took my balls.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
