I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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