At least make sure they are 18
Why
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I smell like Dick and happiness
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
