Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
