Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
