So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
