Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pappa wants mamma naked
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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