After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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