if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
