4 words: hood of his car
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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