If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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