plz talk dirty to me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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