Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I believe in your delicious
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
