Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we're making bets on your personal life
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
my liver is dry heaving
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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