This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
