Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
