She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My cat gives me a boner
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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