I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
