My liver just broke up with me...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
