batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
