hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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