how can u be prego again
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize