Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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