Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
