you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
