I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
