Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize