really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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