My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize