the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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