never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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