I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
