It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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