can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
